8 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Your Job To Be A SAHM

So you’ve been thinking about leaving your job. You’re running out the door the moment the clock hits home time. You’ve set your LinkedIn so you’re discoverable by recruiters. You’re gathering reasons for and against leaving. So how do you know when to actually leave?

The real question isn’t “should I leave my job”, the real question is “am I good at my job”?

Running out the door as soon as it's home time?

Stock Unlimited

If you’re not very good at your job and you leave, no one will miss you. You won’t leave people wanting more, you won’t be thought of when opportunities come up in the future, and you’ll probably burn bridges you should have kept in tact. It’s a small world. People talk. You never know when you might need something.

It’s easy to think that you’d be good at your job given a different, more suitable set of circumstances. If only I had fewer clients, if only I had different clients, if only I was busier, if only I wasn’t so busy. If only [insert name of colleague] wasn’t there, if I only had [insert name of colleague]’s job, and so on.

In reality, if you are blaming a set of external circumstances for the reason that you’re not achieving, you’re probably going to end up feeling exactly the same about your next job. And the one after that. And the one after that. Suddenly, the common denominator in all your unsuccessful career moves is you. It’s time to get serious about your own ability and take charge of your own career.

In a previous post I wrote about the importance of just being exceptional. Leave your job when you have outgrown it. Leave your job when you are better than it. Leave your job when you are absolutely smashing it. Leave your job when you could not put any more effort in it. Leave when you are loved by co-workers, clients and everyone around you. Ideally, get a promotion and leave it for a step up in the same company. If that’s not possible, leave it for a step up in a new company. Moving on to be on the same level, or even to take a step backwards, citing that the fault was someone else’s, is completely transparent. You’re only fooling yourself. Why would it be any different there?

Yes, your employer could be to blame. Perhaps you’ve had insufficient training. Perhaps the environment you’re in doesn’t suit. Perhaps they hired you into the wrong position. These things happen. But be proactive about remedying them.

There are those who complain and there are those who do something about their complaints. Hanging around, punching numbers into a computer for 8 hours and doing a rubbish job? You might as well not be there. You’re wasting your life and you’re giving the worst possible impression of yourself. Complaining and not doing anything about it is one of the least desirable qualities of any candidate, especially when making changes and improvements is in your remit.

So what’s the cost of being bad at your job? There’s the cost of leaving an employer on bad terms, which is potentially huge given that they will be asked for references for every other job you apply for. There’s the cost of your reputation, given that in most industries many people know many others operating within it. When you leave, suddenly things will be done better. Your colleagues, whom you once regarded as friends, will realise you left work for them to deal with. They will realise you weren’t giving your all, which can damage your reputation further.

There are those who complain and there are those who do something about their complaints.


The answer to “when” you should leave your job could be as easy as “when I get a new job”. But what would that achieve? You pick up your lack of interest in work and you move it to a new employer, expecting them to save you, solve your problems and motivate you to achieve. Get there yourself. Stop relying on other people. Read books, listen to podcasts, get better at your role, get to know your industry inside out and improve as a professional. It’s up to you and no one else.

You’re much more appealing to a potential employer if you are highly regarded by your current employer. Head-hunters are looking for the overachievers and the people who deliver exceptionally. Those who are ambitious and an asset to their company. If you’re underperforming, feel undervalued and are not earning the salary you think you should be, potential employers are going to ask why. They’re not looking for those who are coasting, moaning and not giving their role 100%. According to the Career Farm, in the UK three to five years in a role is considered normal, but there’s ‘no one size fits all’.

I have a friend who works for a magic circle law firm in London who has excelled in his role from day one. He isn’t thinking about leaving because he’s underperforming, because he’s on a performance improvement plan or because his boss wants him to leave. He’s thinking about leaving because he’s outgrown his job. He’s been completely transparent about it, and his manager isn’t able to progress him further within the company. He’s going to leave on very good terms, with very good relationships in tact. He’s given them 5 years of excellent service and they have specifically made introductions for him to their contacts elsewhere.

If you are not good enough at your job, solve that problem first, then leave.


If you are not good enough at your job, solve that problem first, then leave. Find the job description back from when you applied for the role you’re in, and reignite the passion you had for it at the start. Go through the key skills required and the day-to-day responsibilities. Imagine what could be achieved if you were putting 100% into that role. Imagine how good you’d feel. The work satisfaction, the kudos, the praise, the fuzzy feelings from knowing you are awesome. The reality is, if you’re not giving it your all then you’ll never know your real potential. Sure, you can blame your boss, your clients, your co-workers, but really if you are providing a sub-standard service then it’s you that needs to change something. Do you really want to be known as someone who can’t be bothered? Do you really want that on your reputation? Do you want to make your network smaller and smaller as those who are fed up of excusing your work give up on you too? I didn’t think so.

Source : https://www.forbes.com/sites/jodiecook/2018/11/22/how-to-tell-if-you-should-leave-your-job/

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